Sabine Seddon

You may have lost someone important to you to Covid 19 or to other causes during the the lock-down.

Grief may be more complicated when our normal way of life is disrupted and we are uncertain about the future. Our ability to cope may be more easily overwhelmed when we are already anxious or stressed because of what is going on around us.

You may have lost out on being with the person when he/she died as you were not allowed to visit the person in hospital or care home or you had to keep yourself safe. You may be angry because this choice was taken away from you. You may feel guilty for not being there and say good-bye and tell them you love them. You may wonder how your loved one was looked after, whether they were alone when they died and whether they knew you love them. Not being there leaves you open to imagining what they may have experienced or thought or felt. You may ruminate excessively and imagine the worst.

You may not have been able to plan the funeral your loved one deserves or would have wanted for themselves. The experience of planning the funeral may also have felt more more matter-of-factly then you feel is right. Only a small number of family members being allowed to be present can feel like you are not doing your loved one justice. You may not have been able to attend the funeral due to restrictions in place or you needing to self-isolate for your own protection. You may feel guilty about this even though you did not have a choice. Due to not being able to see friends and family, you may also not have had the emotional support you needed.

Your loved one might have been at greater risk due to to being a a health care professional or being considered as critical workforce. You may feel angry that necessary PPE was not provided and actions to protect critical workforce were not implemented earlier or ignored by the public.

You may feel guilty for surviving when a person younger than you or healthier than you died, or you may feel responsible for infecting someone else.

You may feel angry because you feel your loved one died unnecessarily. Tests and procedures may have been delayed due to hospitals setting other priorities or your loved one avoiding going to the Doctors out of fear or because they felt others needed medical support more urgently.

Other people may not understand how your bereavement experience and what you are feeling is different from theirs.

Whatever you thoughts, feelings and experiences, I will aim to support you in finding a way forward.

You may not access bereavement support for a long time after your bereavement, and after the pandemic is over. It is never too late to talk.